The Perils of Being Pale

Published August 12, 2013 by iftheshoefits

I am pale, painfully so, it’s my heritage.  I can go brown, or so I believe, but it would take about 6 months of gentle and continuous sun exposure.

During my mis-spent youth I spent a fortune on tanning lotions and potions, one of which I was so allergic to I needed anti-histamine cream to get the swelling down.  I did try a sun bed once, but, like my experiences with train toilets, it’s not something that bodes well for me.  I stripped off, put the tiny goggles on, allowed the top to lower automatically and obediently stayed under for the designated time.  Unfortunately, the hinge malfunctioned and I was trapped like a slowly roasting chicken.  Luckily for me, a queue was building up outside and an attendant came in to rescue me.  Not an experience I wish to repeat in this lifetime.  Embarrassment 10, Dignity 0.

So for the last 8 years or so I’ve come to love the pale and interesting look.  This summer has been amazing so far and I’ve accidentally allowed myself to burn a couple of times. Each time, I get some new tan lines and I go up one shade on the pantene colour chart.

Today, however, I’m scarlet.  Ouchily so.

Yesterday,  I was assisting Mr ShoeThatAlwaysFits on one of his jobs, we were on the coast, it was windy and a tad overcast.  No need for the suncream at all then.  That was until about 2pm when the sun well and truly put its hat on, we were only out in it for an hour or so, but that was enough.  Burned to a crisp.  Mr ShoeThatAlwaysFits was ok – a bit red around the gills, but otherwise fine.  I on the other hand, well, there’s only one word for me, scarlet.  Ouchilly scarlet.  You can see the strap lines of my vest, my watch line, even that I was wearing 2 different necklaces.  Oh, for a bit of foresight and a bandeau top.  But a bandeau top when you’re moving around unpredictably is an accident waiting to happen.  And there’s only so many embarrassing incidents I can cope with in one lifetime.

So, I’ll be taut and crisp for a few days, peel a bit, and then turn a slightly darker shade of pale.

Oh, I do like to be beside the seaside, Oh I do like to be beside the sea.  But, like Baz Luhrmann says, “Wear Sunscreen”.

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