All posts in the Relationships category

40 + is a funny age

Published October 1, 2013 by iftheshoefits

I turned 41 this year which was a relief if I’m honest.  That benchmark year (the one with the ‘0’) is behind me and I can now completely embrace my fabulous forties, without lamenting the loss of my youth.

I’m lucky that both me and Mr ShoeThatAlwaysFits still have a full set (parents, siblings, etc), and know how incredibly lucky we are that we have been blessed in this way.  And then we watched “This is Forty” – and could relate to a lot of that film.  Left to our own devices we still feel as though we should be supervised at all times, but we know what we like, and are comfortable with the choices that we’ve made and the life that we’ve lived and which we continue to live.

We also understand each other, I’m cold in the evenings but suffer what can only be described as hot flushes in the mornings and the Mr is the opposite (well, without the hot flush part).  On our recent holiday, by the time I shuffled out of the shower, he had already opened all of the windows to cool me down (he gets weirded out by my sweaty upper lip – but then again, who wouldn’t?)

I also love clothes and admire those who have an individual style (hence my following of MasonBentley and Citizens of Fashion).  I think that I’ve found my signature look and and I don’t tend to veer away from it very often – if I feel weird in anything then it’s a no-go.  I still make mistakes – but regular readers know my penchant for internet shopping and those little (or big) parcels of loveliness – so any mistakes can be returned easily, sans embarrassment.  Occasionally my heart rules my head – this week I have a big return to make – I made the mistake of trying to recapture my rock chick days, but in a more grown up sophisticated way.  I opened the afore mentioned medium-sized parcel of loveliness that arrived, but realised my error when the office fashionista deemed my purchases ‘brave’.  And she’s 22.  She approved of one of the pairs of shoes, but when I put the chunky heeled size 3’s on, I felt like a real life Minnie Mouse.  Needless to say, it’s all going back.

And so, I reiterate, 40+ is a funny, but totally fabulous age.

True happiness (living in and of the moment)

Published August 26, 2013 by iftheshoefits

I’m not your typical naval-gazing modern day philosopher, nor do I pretend to be so.  I struggle with trying to do everything – work, friends, family, exercise, hobbies.  I’m so busy trying to get better at all of it that I forget to stop and think; to take stock of my life.

I think that we’re all guilty of that – but sometimes we need to remember to be content, to truly live in the moment.

Yesterday, Mr ShoeThatAlwaysFits came home from a long day’s filming and told me how moved he’d been by a story that he’d heard on the radio.  An old lady had written in to thank the presenter for keeping her company, she enjoyed his show and listened to the radio a lot since her husband had died a few years ago.  She used the radio to keep her company, and listening to music that she’d listened to with her husband brought her comfort through her loneliness and seclusion.

This sparked a conversation that we should never either take our lives nor each other for granted.  I realised that I am blessed on so many fronts, that I experience a deep and meaningful love and I have a rewarding and challenging career.  We have enough money to live on and have a small amount of savings should something in our lives go awry.  We have siblings, our parents and an extended family which have enriched our lives and who continue to stimulate us.

I am thankful for the life that I lead and the choices that have brought me here.

As I watch the news, read articles and features and see what is happening in the world outside of my own little bubble, I realise how lucky I am to be  here.  It all could have been so different.  I am truly happy.

Those Truly, Madly, Deeply Moments

Published August 6, 2013 by iftheshoefits

I have 3 general moods:

  1. Happy go lucky
  2. Bit out of sorts
  3. Truly, madly, deeply weepy

Number 3 is my code red.  It usually only comes on during a particular moving film; the first incident occurred after watching “Truly Madly Deeply” with Mr ShoeThatAlwaysFits.  We hadn’t been dating for very long, and he had only experienced the normal aspects of my personality, along with my over-tired giggly self.  We both love movies and he thought a bit of a romantic weepy was in order after a stint of more serious-minded films.  Bless him – he knew not what he did.

I loved the film itself, but I was in such a state of teary-eyed despair, that Mr ShoeThatAlwaysFits was seriously worried that I was going to dehydrate,  He was prepared for me to cry a bit – and cry I did, for hours and hours.  I was inconsolable, I couldn’t stop – that film was just too heartbreaking and I’m a true romantic – love literally does conquer all for me.

He did eventually realise that I was indeed a stable and rational being, but that when I feel something deeply, I have to let it run its course.  We choose films more carefully these days.

I had another of those experiences last night watching “A Late Quartet”.  Again, I really loved the film, but I felt it a bit too much, especially two thirds into a bottle of red wine.  Mere tissues could not cope with the amount of water pouring out of me, drastic measures were required, my fleecy throw had the soft texture required and was also super-absorbent .  Definitely not a pretty sight, but nearly twenty years on, my Mr ShoeThatAlwaysFits is now used to those little moments of madness.

Why I need a gym buddy

Published July 28, 2013 by iftheshoefits

Now, we all know that exercise is good for us.

But it can be hard to seamlessly incorporate it into everyday life. There’s usually something else a lot more fun to do. I’ve struggled with my weight for over 15 years (cheese, wine, curries and crisps are a few of my favourite things) and I hadn’t exercised seriously since my school days.

But something had to change & for me that was Boxing Day last year.  Enough.  No more wibbles, no more dressing around my size. Now, for some people, their goal is to be thin.  Mine is different, I want to be strong and toned (not a body builder physique, but definition and strength).  Thinner is the bonus that comes with both of those things.  At school I used to swim, a lot.  And I was strong, ridiculously strong for my size.  I hanker back to those days – so I asked Mr ShoeThatAlwaysFits to help devise a good programme for me, part cardio weight loss, part help me get the body that could monkey bar my way out of trouble.  7 months later I’m doing well, there have been a few slips (read these as nights out) and maybe one too many packets of crisps along the way, but I am in much better shape and am so much happier in myself than I was 7 months ago.

There have been laughs, and if I’m honest, tears and tantrums along the way.  I can exercise easily enough by myself, but it’s hard and it’s boring – so for me, it’s so much more fun to have my gym buddy helping me.  He reminds me to breathe, corrects my position when I’m doing something wrong and is a constant source of either encouragement or motivation.

My body shape is changing, I have muscle tone (which I love) – but by far the best aspect is spending time on improving your wellbeing with the person that you love.  It may be corny, it may be twee, but I treasure these times.  I only wish that I had started 10 years ago, but it’s good to know that I have a better body at 40 than I did at 30.  It’s all about balance and I’m starting to get that balance right.

Marmite – my kind of condiment

Published July 21, 2013 by iftheshoefits

If ever there was a condiment that divides households, it’s marmite.

Now, I love the stuff, especially on toast.  In fact, one of the only things I miss about regular travelling is that I now can’t justify going into Starbucks at omg o’clock and ordering a skinny latte with a cheese & marmite breakfast panini.  It’s a great way to start the day.

Now, as everyone knows, marmite is a love it or hate it taste sensation, it’s not one of those flavours that you can take or leave – nobody is ever sanguine about the absorption of marmite.

Now, Mr ShoeThatAlwaysFits positively detests marmite – its very existence is abhorrent to him. One of the biggest declarations of love from himself was a recent event, he had watched me eat some marmite on toast, walked over and swept me up in a passionate embrace, tongues and all.  He didn’t dry heave, he didn’t pull away, he didn’t immediately rinse his mouth out, we were simply of the moment.  Now, that’s what I call romance.

Nobody really likes spiders

Published July 19, 2013 by iftheshoefits

I have a small aversion to spiders, in our household we call them mini monsters.  Not a phobia, I don’t run screaming from the room, but I would really prefer that they were invisible.  I know that they are wonderful little creatures, and keep all sorts of other beasties at bay, but I would prefer to live my life without co-habiting with any of them.

Mr ShoeThatAlwaysFits comes home tomorrow – he won’t be worrying tonight about the mess, or the domestic appliances that may have blown up whilst he’s been away (there have been a few) – he’ll be more concerned about coming home to some kind of arachnidarium

He’s never recovered from his homecoming from an extended trip 10-15 years ago.  It was a hot summer, just like this one, and we had wooden floors throughout our lower floor.  Large spiders liked our house, and that summer we were spider catnip.

Now, Mr ShoeThatAlwaysFits is our chief spider catcher – and I love him dearly for that amongst other talents.  However, he had been gone for 3 weeks – and we were averaging about 5 spiders a week.  I’m not talking the cute little money spiders, I’m talking large bodies, very long legs, and very very noticeable whilst scurrying across the floor.

I discovered that I could catch them easily enough by putting a glass over them, but that’s as much as I could bear.  He walked into our living room to find that I had used every glass we owned (and had bought many more) to capture the blighters.  You had to walk carefully around them in some kind of weaving motion, to make your path through to the kitchen, where there were more.

He was gobsmacked – I explained that I couldn’t sleep if they were loose, but that once I’d caught them, I couldn’t move them or put them outside.

So, tonight, on the eve of his return home, I think he’ll be more worried about that kind of homecoming.

The Final Countdown

Published July 19, 2013 by iftheshoefits

My significant other, herewith Mr ShoeThatAlwaysFits, has been away adventuring for nearly 2 weeks and he’s due home tomorrow – hooray.  I can’t wait to see him, but I do have a lot to do before he gets back.  He likes tidiness, order and serenity – I’m on the chaotic side of the organised spectrum.

In short, stuff needs doing.

The cupboards are bare, the ironing pile is taller than I am, and socks to do not pair themselves.  But it’s fine, I have a plan – and if the plan fails, I have gin.

  1. Tidy away jewellery (currently abandoned on kitchen worktop)
  2. File paperwork
  3. Start ironing tonight
  4. Drink gin (as a reward)
  5. Wash up
  6. Pair socks
  7. Sleep
  8. Another bout of ironing
  9. Go to supermarket
  10. Finish ironing

On his arrival, I can then squeal with excitement and give him a huge hug whilst simultaneously emitting an air of nonchalance.

This is a good plan in theory.  I hope I complete the tasks in order, I have been known to head straight to gin o’ clock.  Then all I have is a sheepish smile and some devilish dimples.

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