Rain, rain go away
Come again in 2015
A rather unexpected day in fact – with highs and lows.
a) Mission Dinner Jacket or Die (MDJoD) is complete
b) I had time for a manicure in my lunch hour
c) I successfully completed Day 17 of the Plank Challenge – all 120 painful seconds
d) I didn’t lose my temper at work when I was totally and utterly justified in doing so
a) I was soaked to the skin on the walk home by passing cars after successful completion of MDJoD
b) I’m going to have to come up with a damage limitation strategy for (d) above
On the bizarre front, here’s a photo of some sparkly (borderline stripper shoes) that Mr ShoeThatAlwaysFits mum sent me to cheer me up.
I don’t understand boys. I don’t get their thought processes. When I need to buy something new to wear for work I’m filled with excitement at the challenge ahead – the drive to find the perfect outfit at a particular budget. It’s like The Krypton Factor, only better.
But Mr ShoeThatAlwaysFits entire day has been ruined by the prospect of having to wear a dinner jacket for a job next week. The Fight | Flight | Freeze instincts have kicked in – 2 hours into ‘the dinner jacket episode’ we’ve already had the fight and flight instincts in abundance. My job is to make this easy for him, although I’ll never get him to enjoy it.
I love shopping – I may have mentioned this once or twice already – especially when my little parcels of loveliness arrive at work like perfectly wrapped boxes of hope. So, although I’m already on OBB (operation bikini bod) and the 30 day plank challenge (15 days in we’re at the 90 second mark), I have chosen to accept another mission – MDJoD (Mission Dinner Jacket or Die).
We’ve already agreed that his 25 year old suit may not be up to the job, nor his Matrix inspired leather blazer. So we need to find a suitable alternative. Guess what I’ve been doing whilst he’s been taking out considerable aggression in the gym. I’ve found some good online options with next day delivery to boot. I’m now wishing that I could go too – I have a lovely little tuxedo jacket just dying to be worn again. I’ll never understand why this isn’t fun.
By the time I’ve kitted him out, he’ll look this this:
Or possibly more like this:
What’s that I hear, a martini? Shaken, not stirred – you got it.
Today will forever more at West Wing Towers be known that the day that the internet died. And die it did, albeit unspectacularly. The first I knew that anything was wrong when the entire office leapt to attention like meerkats in sight of a predator, with hushed voices exclaiming, “the internet’s down”. Shocked glances turned into furious keyboard tapping, phone calls across the office to the techies who know about this kind of stuff, and quickly led to meetings being disturbed by nerd-like shrieking.
This was not good.
In fact, this was a real life emergency. The root cause had to be found and rectified as quickly as possible, how could we survive without instant access to the world wide web? This meant that people actually left their desks and headed to the mother ship, well the temperature controlled security vortex also known as the server room. They were on a mission, they would succeed in bringing back the internet or die trying.
It turns out that someone had tripped up and subsequently pulled out the ONE really important cable. He was explaining to some colleagues how careful you need to be when you’re backing up the system, being very serious and spouting good practice. It was an unfortunate and somewhat ironic accident. Alas, this was a serious security breach and the ISMF (Information Security Management Forum – I’m not making this up) had to be informed. An incident was duly recorded, and will be discussed at the next meeting of the ISMF.
Once we rebooted the internet all was well. The nerds settled back down into coding heaven, the geeks could get back online and order suitably geeky stuff and I could carry on shopping. For those of you lucky enough to work outside the technology sector I shall clarify the difference between nerds and geeks via the image below. Welcome to my life, I work with both tribes. No wonder I buy shoes.
That’s not a title for a Girl Band vs Boy Band hair-off, but the sum of my weekend.
Mr ShoeThatAlwaysFits actually had the weekend off – this is virtually unheard of. And very very welcome. We were knackered for want of a better word. And so we started Saturday off slowly, watched an episode or two of The Good Wife, he went off and worked out, I did a spot of Winter Olympics watching, then we settled down early and watched a documentary before bingeing on a few more episodes of the afore mentioned The Good Wife. All in all, my kind of Saturday.
Today has been much more productive which is a good thing, otherwise I would have achieved nada/zero/zilch all weekend. And you only need so much rest if truth be told. Sunday didn’t start well, Mr ShoeThatAlwaysFits got called early for a job which meant that he had to leave immediately – he was in the process of fighting his way into winter waterproof layers when he was called again saying that the job had gone away. Hooray! That meant he could come back to bed for another slow start – and that’s not a euphemism for anything else!
Breakfast and coffee quaffing was partaken with, you guessed it, another episode of The Good Wife before we were ready to face the grad master plan for today. I had a number of things I needed to achieve – a lower body workout, a cardio session, day 9 of the planking challenge (a 60 second muscle-quivering grit your teeth and bear it exercise), and a rather large pile of ironing. It was the worst kind of ironing – formal shirts and trousers, ruffled blouses – eeeeuurgh. With Mr ShoeThatAlwaysFits around to help pile on the weights for squats and calf raises, it was a tough but fun workout. I warmed up with the plank, so I really feel as though I’ve worked off those late night Rich Tea biscuits today.
So here I am post-workout, desperately in need of a shower and with only one more item on my list of things to achieve today – call my parents to see how they’re doing. Well that, and decide whether it’s feasible to attempt the 30 day plank challenge and the 30 day squat challenge in quick succession or even simultaneously. Operation Bikini Bod is in full swing – that bikini bod will be mine, or I’ll die trying.
Today, on the way to work, I really was Mary Poppins – the wind made me fly (sadly, very unlike Ms Poppins) way up in the air with my rather large umbrella. At this point I faced with the impossible choice – wrestle with my umbrella or keep some dignity intact and hold my skirt down – there was no time for both. So apologies to any car drivers who saw a small flurry of an oversized purple umbrella and grey woolly tights fighting their way through the cobbled slippery streets.
Once I’d reconnected with mother earth I stepped off of the pavement straight into a puddle so deep it overflowed my little chelsea boots. Not exactly the best start to the day and thus I arrived at work battered, bedraggled and bemused – like most of my colleagues.
A surreal start to the day for everyone means that you share little moments of hilarity throughout the remainder – any subject was open for ridicule, planking (of course), prostrate examinations, dubious code changes, top end graphic cards and cooling units. Not my top 10 funny moments ever, but instead an endearingly dorky day – nerds vs weather. The weather won.
Now for a 40 second planking session now that my feet have dried out.
We’re well into day 4 of our company planking challenge for charity – today we have to hold the plank position for a whole 30 seconds.
Those who remembered to start the challenge on Saturday as agreed, immediately forgot the rules – start small and build your way up to the full 300 seconds.
But, because this challenge is mastered by those who sit still for hours on end, and who can assume the above pose easily enough – the menfolks have gone all Alpha Papa on me and are treating each day as holding the pose for as long as possible. Out planking one another has become the new office hobby – this is freaking me out, I’m used to the debates on Skyrim vs World of Warcraft, how the makers of CandyCrush are evil and should go straight to a special kind of hell and how you simply can’t survive without a water-cooled hard drive. But now they’re talking voluntarily about a form of exercise. There are people planking in the boardroom, others are side planking after a rendition of happy birthday in our main open plan nerd hub. The earth has indeed spun off of its axis and we’re going to plunge screaming into the heart of the sun. No wonder I need retail therapy. Beam me up Scotty, I actually mean it this time.
Image courtesy of http://img.breakingmuscle.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/full_width/images/bydate/nov_29_2011_-_1201pm/shutterstock_55088689.jpg