I’m with General Melchett on that one.  I wish the world was a safer, happier, healthier place to live and procreate in.

However, there is one aspect of security that I hate, although I do realise that it is a necessary evil – airport security.  We live in a time when it’s essential, I understand that, it’s just that there must be a better way.

I’m sure that I’m not alone when I feel ever so slightly violated whilst going through – all of your liquid toiletries in a clear plastic bag – there’s a reason that the contents of a lady’s handbag are sacred and that clear plastic little bag takes away some of the mystery in being a woman.  And then there’s the fact that you have to take half of your layers off and usually your shoes – this makes for an interesting balancing act, undressing whilst walking is never a good option for a clumsy person.  Not to mention the fact that your underwear is on display at on all fronts – what with your belt being removed and your jacket off – pants and bra straps aplenty.  I’ve learned to keep my jacket and belt on until I’ve taken my shoes off – the order you undress is important, you don’t want more of yourself falling out than is absolutely necessary.

The smaller the airport, the more scrutiny you get, probably because they have less sophisticated equipment to hand and more manpower available per passenger.  I usually get frisked at the smaller airports.

I don’t mind my luggage or my person being searched, scrutinised or patted down – I just wish we could incorporate a little more technology to help us along the way.  The full body scanners are controversial – but I’m all for them.  Anything that stops me inadvertently flashing at strangers is a plus in my book.  Hopefully, there’s some lovely new sci-fi inspired technology to come before too long.

In the meantime, “Crevice is a dirty word, but security isn’t”.