All posts tagged earwig

An earwig, a birthday and one too many bottles of wine

Published September 25, 2013 by iftheshoefits

Well yesterday was quite the day.  It all started off innocuously enough, I was awake before the alarm (always a good thing), my work outfit was already laid out from the night before – all I had to do was to make myself look presentable and head off to work as normal.  I was conducting my morning routine when I leaned down to scratch the top of my foot, as it had developed a bit of an itch, and to my horror I saw an earwig (aka a forkytail in my homeland) trapped under my tights.

I’m ashamed to admit that I screamed louder than was strictly necessary and proceeded to rip my tights off faster than the speed of sound, and then repeatedly jumped up and down on the sorry looking pile to ensure there were no forky-tailed survivors. Not very zen buddhist or even humane – but you try and hold back before coffee o’ clock when the adrenaline has kicked in.

I was still a bit shaky and itchy on my arrival at work and hurredly agreed to go out for lunch with a colleague.  There’s few things in life that lunch with a friend can’t sort out.  We were enjoying a lovely Italian lunch and over-zealously agreed to a second bottle of wine.  This is the point of no return – before you know it we’ve stopped off on the way back to the office to buy birthday cake and bubbly.  The next two hours were spent on concentrated bouts of sobriety before the office birthday bash.  There was singing, there was cake, there were cheese twists, there was champagne.  The bubbly ran out, the peanuts were depleted, it was 6.15pm and we all agreed that we should go to the lovely bar nearby for ‘just the one’ before we made our merry way home – it was only Tuesday after all.  My lunch had started with red wine, I was topped up with champagne and I decided to end the evening on gin and slim.  Not the worst move, but not the wisest either.

I was one of the lucky ones, I left before the heated debates about evolutionary politics and the crassness of Jane Austen and well before the bar bill ran into 3 figures.  It was a more subdued office this morning, with some flaggers heading out for early lunches.  I was a bit dry this morning, but I didn’t feel horrific, just a bit sleepy – in no small part to Mr ShoeThatAlwaysFits having a sneezing fit at 3am.

But that’s a whole other story.

%d bloggers like this: